Google, Lying Sales People and Coffee…..Oh MY.

Venting Occurring Right About…….NOW.

The sun is shining.  The birds are literally singing.  I get to my office and I begin to sip my coffee as I begin my task of changing our business address in Google.  Good times.  Good times.  So I go to where I used to go to change the address (for the billionth time since we moved locations in May) and of course, it’s not there.  SO now I chug my coffee down and begin to beat on my poor keyboard.  SOMEONE will pay.  For what I don’t really know but dang nab it, my address will be changed on GOOGLE!

I toil and task and sure enough, I have sent enough messages to Google that someone HAS to listen THIS time right?  And the phone rings…….ironically it’s Google!  You know the call, the automated “Hello, it’s Google and we have noticed you haven’t filled out your business listing completely press 1 for help”  Really?  REALLY?  Okay, since I can’t let Google have it, I’ll play.  I press 1.  A fella answers and I ask him, “Um, what company is this?” I love doing that to them because they never know how to answer this question.  He gives me the usual stumble, sliding “Google” in there somewhere.  I say, “Nope, I didn’t quite get that, name of the company please?”  He stutters “something inaudible solutions”.  I say, “Oh okay so what can you do for me?” He claims he’s looking at my listing – can any of you tell me where my “listing” is on google?  When I search my company I get my website, my facebook, my reviews, my yelp, my ……. but I don’t think I have a generic “listing” since I claimed my “google listing” years ago and just played with it – literally – moments before this call…I digress……..

So I laugh and say, “Look man, I’m good with what’s on my listing, do you have the power to change my address?”  Of course, we all know the answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOO  he has no more power to change my address than I do – and I betcha, I have more power and it won’t cost me anything but the dye to cover up my gray hair I’m getting dealing with GOOGLE.  His answer?  “Our technicians can fix that for you ma’am.”  I really laugh and tell him he’s full of it which he did not like.  I told him I didn’t like being lied to by his company from the get-go.  He says he didn’t lie.  I say, “Question, if your company isn’t lying, why does it say “Hello, it’s Google” in the automated message???? You aren’t Google.”  He proceeded to tell me his company doesn’t lie and I ask him how he looks at himself in the mirror everyday preying on unsuspecting glass companies….he hung up.

I don’t understand how people can do this.  I had the same conversation with a guy claiming he “knew” Dave yesterday.  He said they met. He was “following up”.  I said with what?  He said, health care.  To which I responded, well then, you didn’t talk to Dave because I deal with the health care and you have now lied to me twice.  1) You don’t know Dave.  2) You never met Dave to get the okay to “follow up”.  He claimed he didn’t “lie” = he was following up with his company.  I called BS and he hung up on me and called me two more times.  Poor buzzard.

If you want to talk to me, talk straight.  You will get much further.  Quit the lying, sly doggin around the issue crap.  I don’t call you and tell you to buy a windshield you don’t need or want.  It’s unethical, fraudulent and just plain wrong.

Thanks for listening to my rant.  Brought to you by my friends at Google.

 

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